The
Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has
been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," or more
commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some
other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The
Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most
generously offered
to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There
is no additional fee required.
The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE
procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus,
into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is,
Jesus will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please
see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of
these fixes. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available
to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and
assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent
residence on the premises!
Riviera
Update
